Musical Humor
If you know a good bagpipe joke, want to share your poems about Mozart
or got an anecdote on the Arties named *#@&, then feel free to
post them on our forum. And if we like them we shall add them to our collection.
Jokes - Limericks - Conversations
Jokes
A trombonist is the only musician who can achieve success by letting things slide.
I stopped singing with the choir when they found out what was wrong with it.
It isn't that the English dislike the sound of bagpipes, it's just that they feel the pipes are best heard at a distance...and the distance from England to Scotland is about right.
Last night he did a classical piece in A flat.
After boring the charming young lady who was his table partner at a dinner party with an endless stream of his success stories, the great violinist finally said winningly," Now , enough about myself, what about you?. How did you enjoy my last concert?"
You can tune a piano but you can't TUNE A FISH.
Limericks
A charming young singer named Hannah,
Was caught in a flood in Montanah
As she floated away,
Her sister, they say,
Accompanied her on the pianah.
Conversations
"Why does she always close her eyes when she plays?"
"So she can't see us suffering."
Judge: Haven't I seen you before somewhere?
Prisoner: Yes, my lord. I used to give your daughter singing lessons.
Judge: Thirty years!!
"And who are you?"
"I'm the piano tuner, sir."
"I didn't order my piano to be tuned."
"No, sir, but your neighbours did."
"How's the clarinet going?"
"I've mastered the first steps."
"Really? I thought you played it with your fingers."
"Who was that at the door?"
"A man with a drum."
"Tell him to beat it."
"What do you think of HANDEL's Largo?"
"I never drink anything else."
"Experience?"
"Twenty years in string combinations, sir"
"Really? I prefer silk myself.
Accompanist: "do you want a key?"
Singer: "No, I'll let myself in".
Last night he did a classical piece in A flat
"What a fine singer. His voice really filled the hall."
"Yes, I noticed several people had to leave to make room for it."
"Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to the Albert Hall?"
"Practise, man! Practice!"
"What a band, none of them would pass a dope test!"